The Pub wasn’t exactly crowded and yet it was obvious where the gaggle of networkers was gathered. They were to the left of the main entrance, squeezed into what must have been a third of the total floor area, leaving the other two thirds of the pub virtually empty. Thus is the oft unusual behaviour of humans!

I don’t attend many impromptu networking gatherings, so my expectation for this meeting wasn’t anything in particular.

I had been invited by a good friend and wanted to support his efforts and curious to discover who I might meet there.

As it turned out, I talked with five different people, one of whom I had met before.

So, let’s cut to the chase, the bit that you are interested in.

This is how they panned out:

  1. Nice guy; enthusiastic; very likeable; I would definitely want to help him progress in his current endeavour.
  2. Take this person away – now!
  3. Very nice lady; smile; quiet; reserved.
  4. Polished social skills; introduced his wife elegantly and conversed in a relaxed and friendly manner.
  5. Talked at me for about ten minutes.

Of these people, two gave me business cards without my asking, but all had very different ways of selling me what they do.

They all had a pitch – or, what you might call a sharing of what they do as ‘work’. But none was what I would call, skilled in the art of subtle covert persuasion.

The two most important factors to remember if you want results from your networking are these:

  • People MUST remember you and what you uniquely do
  • People MUST be motivated to do something AFTER MEETING YOU that will support your business objectives

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So how can we ensure these two things happen – every time? And what clues can these five examples give us? Let’s go back to our five suspects …

  1. The ‘nice guy’ was very likeable and had a youthful enthusiasm, verging on excitement, about what he was doing. His enthusiasm was infectious. He didn’t even describe what he’s doing particularly well, but I got the gist of it and could see that he was totally ‘into’ it and would be going out there and getting ‘buy-in’ or actual sales. He was also interested in what I do, although I tend to bat away questions in order to keep the other person talking about themselves: The important thing is that he showed the interest in me, creating respect from me and greater interest in him! I will be talking about him to others – like I am to you now – when the situation is appropriate. Presentation: 10/10. Problem: He had no business cards so I don’t even remember his name and have no way to refer others to him!
  2. The reason for my extreme repulsion to this person was it was all about them. And not only that, it was in my face, loud and lacking any social elegance. I do remember the name and what they do and I will remember that my opinion of them is negative. Presentation: 0/10. Problem: The law of attraction working in reverse!
  3. This person had no networking agenda, and seemed to be there for purely social reasons. She did give me a business card and I liked her. I will send her a hand-shake email saying that I enjoyed meeting her (the truth). Presentation: NONE. Problem: No real lasting impression and not enough of a handle on how I could actually help her. Maybe she doesn’t want any help!
  4. I dismissed this person because we had nothing in common and there was no attempt at ‘bonding’. There was a brochure handed to me – fortunately small enough to fit in my pocket – but I never asked for it and it will go straight in the bin. Presentation: 2/10. Problem: No real connection with ‘the real person’.
  5. The subject that was talked at me for ten minutes was not of any interest to me and at no point did the other person ask me if was interested. I was given a business card and it will go in the bin. Presentation: NONE. Problem: You will usually bore people if you talk at them without checking their interest first, and even then they might lie to you pretending to be interested.

Now I know that everyone’s reaction to these five individuals will be different, but if you put that to one side and take on board the general principles of ‘social intelligence’ that I’ve focussed on, I’m sure that you will be able to refine your networking skills and improve the results you get.

Oh! So who was the winner? Person #1, of course. He fitted this bill …

Be likeable, enthusiastic and intelligently respectful

(Here’s my popular video on the subject) While you’re there, click on SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel (quitestunning).

But without any business cards, I’m afraid even he will be unlikely to benefit much from the time he invested in last night’s meeting!

Have fun with your business.

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See you next week.

PS If you would like to comment on this article, we’re always interested in your views. Please take a moment to add to this debate. Thanks.